Gremlins

What a carry on! Our loving tutors decided to screen a mystery movie for all DFTV students on the last day of term and add some festive spirit by giving us mince pies with it! Gremlins is about a horde of unpleasant, rude creatures who wreck a town right before Christmas. It wasn’t a Christmas film in the warm, cosy, fireside sense of the word but it was an outrageous, fun and entertaining film which happily was set at Christmas. I think what made it so enjoyable was that it was unexpected. It was the classic ‘Monster in the House’ story and yet at every beat it delivered something new. No-one expected the mum to turn on that food blender, the antics of the gremlins are hilariously unpredictable, and we knew the heroine would tell why she doesn’t like Christmas but the actual reason takes us completely off guard (and I’m still in shock!). In my opinion it’s not a children’s film or a Christmas film really but it is a good laugh and I really enjoyed it.

So now it’s time for the holidays and, I’m sure, more fun. Yet it’s strange to think, while the commercial tornado that is Christmas blows our lives all over the place that its whole purpose, its real origins, are the complete opposite; a quiet ordinary night, a simple stable, a child crying… Softly and spectacularly God becomes one of us. That’s what I will be remembering this Christmas. Why? Why still celebrate this birth? What was so special about this child?

Editing Assessment

Our assessment on AVID involved organising footage, and cutting together a scene, from Balamory! I thought it was great fun and it was rather nice to be working on something a bit different. I know Tobermory rather well as it is where the Mull Mòd takes place each year and I have competed at it three years in a row now, so it was quite funny to see a CG recreation of it in the windows of the Balamory sets. Anyway, I finished my editing without much bother and I’m happy to say I am now satisfactorily familiar with yet another NLE, and since AVID is the software used in the industry I may never have to learn another one.

RSAMD Panto

Quite a hoot. ‘Sleeping Beauty’ was an entertaining and well-executed pantomime combining the talents of acting students and Technical Production Arts students. I thoroughly enjoyed myself (I really want to be in a pantomime now!) but I couldn’t help analysing it just a teeny weeny bit. The story of ‘Sleeping Beauty’ is inherently tricky as it involves the whole castle (so pretty much the entire cast) being put to sleep about halfway through. In this version this happened just before the end of the Act 1 and they resolved the problem by waking them up again almost as soon as the second half began. This felt rather anti-climactic and wouldn’t have been necessary if they’d just kept a few characters awake to continue the pursuit of the bad guy. It also led to a second half that was very bitty, where they almost took a complete time-out to have ‘the messy scene’ or ‘the sing-a-long’ which could have been so much more satisfying if they were actually tied in as steps towards a goal. The biggest goal that remained in the second half was for the prince and princess to get married, which wasn’t quite strong enough; and that’s another thing, they fell in love too soon. One more thing which was most noticeable in the first half was the old ‘rule of threes’. I hadn’t fully appreciated just how important this is, especially in comedy. This rule basically states that everything comes in sets of threes; the first two are the same, the third different – and in comedy usually the third results in hilarity. A problem with the writing in this panto was that everything came in threes but the third was not at all different! Sacrilege! It stuck out like a sore thumb to me, and every time there was two the same of something I was just longing for the third to be different… but it never was. Anyway, I’d better stop. I’ve just realised I’m analysing a pantomime… and that can’t be good! Clearly I need a holiday…

Where do ideas come from?

I watched Twilight just recently as I thought it was about time I found out what all the fuss was about. I quite enjoyed it and I can see its appeal, especially for a teenage audience, on a superficial level (hot vampires; Pattinson frenzy and all that!) as well as a deeper level (with themes of self-control, trust and not fitting in; all that usual adolescent stuff!). What I liked most about this sickly romance was that at its core is a story about love over lust and showing self-control in place of selfishness. This felt like a refreshingly new theme and one which is rather good to hear in our lustful self-centred society though I was less keen on the setting of the story. I think it was a cast member in an interview that said, “Everyone wants to be a vampire” and I just had to helplessly shake my head and say, “Oh dear”. However, my main reason for mentioning Twilight is that though now a worldwide phenomenon it originated from a dream Stephenie Meyer had one night, and this got me thinking…

The concept of an ‘idea’ is one that I have been trying to understand for sometime now. Isn’t it interesting that the language we use when talking about ideas suggests that they are external things, existing outside of ourselves? We say “I had an idea” suggesting the idea was something that was already there, we just had to let it out. Or often we think of ideas penetrating in, like when we say, “I got an idea” or “It came to me” or “I was hit by an idea”. We rarely talk about forming or creating an idea but rather we generally view ‘ideas’ as the raw material with which we then form other things, such as stories, products, business plans, organisations and so on. The idea for Twilight “came to” Stephenie Meyer in a dream and she herself could not explain where it had come from. Yet neatly packaged in that single image was all the potential needed to create what this series has become today. And Twilight is not the only example of this. J.K. Rowling was on a delayed and crowded train journey from Manchester to London when the character of Harry Potter suddenly “fell into her head”. The vast and epic world of Middle-Earth and all that grew from it began life when Tolkien was suddenly and randomly inspired to write on a blank sheet of paper, “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit”. The amazing land of Narnia sprung into C.S. Lewis’s mind in sudden strange images; a faun carrying an umbrella, a queen on a sledge, a magnificent lion. In fact the more we think about big successful ventures and trace them back to their conception the more we realise that the best ideas are not man-made nor necessarily looked for but are, more often than not, handed to a surprised but grateful recipient on a platter. So why? And if ideas exist separate from humanity (as the evidence above would suggest) then where exactly do they exist? Are they floating in an atmospheric swirl all around us and just occasionally one is unexpectedly pushed into our consciousness? Here’s what I think.

I believe in God. I believe in a creative and imaginative God who made an intricate and expansive universe, a beautiful world and an intelligent human race with minds not too dissimilar from His own. I also believe (and I’m afraid I’m not backing this up Biblically, this is purely speculation) God created, and creates, ideas. His ideas are the most perfect, original and interesting ideas we could ever imagine and though our human minds are unable to comprehend His ideas in their purest form He is constantly preparing and gifting little ideas to us. So this is why we talk about an idea “coming to us” with no warning and from an unknown source. God gives them to us. However, we live in a fallen world, we are defiled by sin, and therefore these mini perfect ideas we are given become instantly corrupted and mangled the moment they enter our minds yet, by grace, mankind has been able to make some wonderful stories with them nonetheless. I have often thought when working on a project that sometimes the idea itself remains stronger and more powerful than all the work I’ve done in trying to develop it. So there we have it, such are my reflections thus far on the mystery that is the ‘idea’. And next time I watch a great film, or read a great book, or hear a great story I will simply have to sit back and marvel at this thought – we were His idea.

This Film Is Not Yet Rated

This was a rather clever documentary highlighting the flaws and strange secrecy surrounding the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) where the filmmaker Kirby Dick uncovers who exactly is rating and classifying films. It was presented in an irreverent and entertaining way and though I didn’t much care for some of the content I found it interesting enough. When we learn about the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) way of doing things next term it should be interesting to compare which system is better.

The topic of classification is rather an interesting one. I noticed the documentary mentioned that films are no longer censored, they are simply classified. In other words, absolutely anything can be put on screen but the rating placed on it will limit who is permitted to see it. In my opinion this is very dangerous and it puts a huge responsibility on the filmmaker to self-censor. Of course, many filmmakers do the exact opposite and, as could be seen from the documentary, are then shocked and angry when they receive an NC-17 rating. In my opinion none of the examples of films shown were suitable for children under 17 anyway so for the filmmakers to lament losing that audience is to be either ignorant or just plain irresponsible. In an ideal world there would be a perfected set of standards and each film would be viewed by a perfect rating board then censored and classified accordingly. Unfortunately that will never happen.

The crux of the matter is this; a film can either be rated subjectively or objectively. The problem with subjectivity is that it really comes down to the opinions of certain people, and so of course we question, “Why them specifically? Why not somebody else?”. The problem with objectivity is that it means a film must be rated on what is actually seen when of course what is often more affecting or dangerous is what is implied. Just because we only see a certain amount of blood does it make the murder any less horrific? I think the BBFC are a bit more objective in the way they rate films. However, we are not robots and films are meant to manipulate our emotions. Emotions are subjective. So ideally films should be rated subjectively, and it seems to me – for better or for worse – that this is what the MPAA were trying to do.

The 400 Blows

Les quatre cents coups is a French drama from 1959 about a misunderstood boy who becomes distanced from his parents and leaves them for a life of freedom and petty crime. The fact that it was French does not stand out in my mind and that I think is a sign that this was a good visual film. What fascinated me most was that our protagonist did not have a ‘goal’ as such and yet we were rooting for him from the start. I think this was mainly due to the character being at that age of early adolescence when, as we know from our own experience, understanding life and just getting by is enough of a goal in itself. This was not the most original and spectacular film ever made and yet I found it touching and engaging; 'sweet' is what I want to call it! It felt like a real story about a real person and it was completely non-Hollywood. It is good for me to see more European cinema, since most of the films I am bombarded with are generic, overblown and American. There is another side to filmmaking which is well worth learning about and The 400 Blows was an excellent example of this.

Shooting a Scene

This is a brief reflection on how my on-set skills have developed since producing Love, Mugs and Stickmen in Term 2 of Year 1. On that production I was First Assistant Director on the set whereas in this single-day shoot I was given the role of Director of Photography. The scene we were shooting was set in a staff room where a woman tells her ex-partner that he has a son. I would say my on-set skills have improved most in three main areas; knowledge, etiquette and familiarity.

Between these shoots has been a full two terms of technical teaching. I have been introduced to new kit (e.g. Ronford-baker tripods, matte box and follow focus) and have developed my knowledge of lighting, lenses, focus, and polarisers and filters. I have also become more aware of the different on-set roles and exactly what is involved in each. Meeting Derrick Ritchie, a Gaffer, and hearing him explain his role and that of a Best Boy, and electrician, etc. was particularly helpful. I have also learned from other classes and personal study more about the art of cinematography and therefore felt my decisions as DoP (e.g. regarding kit, camera set-up, lighting) were definitely more informed than they would have been on Love, Mugs and Stickmen.

In terms of set etiquette I have come a huge distance. Love, Mugs and Stickmen was one of my first on-set experiences and since then we have done ‘Showlight’ with the BBC, made Little Clown and I have worked on a number of extra-curricular projects. This has all helped towards increasing my experience of on-set etiquette and so on these shoots we were able to function much more like a professional crew. The point of the shoots was of course to focus on performance and to get a glimpse of the actors’ process and the fact that I was able to do this, and that the actors said they were comfortable and able to work, suggests that our set etiquette was at a sufficient standard. However, I do feel that while we learn off each other the development of our on-set skills is limited. This is why it was helpful to have Ray and Gavin there to oversee and offer advice but I think I would really benefit from getting onto an actual professional film set perhaps as a runner, or even just an observer.

Familiarity can only come with time and in the period between these shoots I have become a lot more familiar with the kit, my classmates and the way a set works. This all helped to enable us to function as a crew efficiently and effectively and the shoot went very smoothly. Furthermore I was rather pleased with how the frame looked most of the time and therefore this shoot was also helpful in taking another step in technical ability.

Ultimately this was a great opportunity to evaluate how far I have progressed since Term 2 last year, get more on-set experience and also be made aware of what areas I need to improve in. I very much enjoyed this shoot and hope I can get many more opportunities to develop my on-set skills in the future.

Grey Gardens

Grey Gardens is another documentary by the Maysles brothers made in 1975 and I much preferred this to Salesman. It explores the world of an eccentric old mother and her middle-aged daughter who live in a run-down mansion and spend their time dreaming about the past. Once again it seemed to me that the actual material was more interesting and inspiring than the filmmaking. Maybe I’m missing something but it seems to me the Maysles brothers don’t really do narrative. They are excellent at capturing and presenting reality and, though I do not find this to be engaging ‘storytelling’ in the conventional sense, I suppose this is what makes them masters of cinema verite (Direct Cinema). As a document recording the lives of two fascinating people Grey Gardens is amazing but as a film it lacks a narrative drive and therefore is not as engaging as it could be.

Last Screenwriting class...

Can it be?! What shall we do without our precious Screenwriting classes? Left here to drown in our tears (and Scottish rain) as Richard flies off to sunny L.A. and the delights of Hollywood Hills Hotel... and I’m not even joking! The answer: we shall continue to have tutorials... over Skype! The age of video conferencing has well and truly come and it is now possible to say “Our Screenwriting tutor is in Hollywood – he does his teaching from there!”. I shall miss Richard’s classes but I am pleased to say I have made definite progress with my writing discipline. I am doing extra reading (nearly finished ‘Save the Cat’), watching and analysing more films, trying to keep coming up with new ideas, and giving more time to developing ideas. The area I need to work on next is character. My characters never feel real enough. I’ll probably start by checking out Joseph Campbell’s book ‘Hero with a Thousand Faces’…

Enter the Pitch

It is perhaps unfortunate that this competition – where you pitch an idea inspired by the Bible, and could win the chance to make it and take it to Hollywood – overlapped with FilmG as I would have loved to spend more time on it and really thrash out an idea until I was happy it could not get any stronger. As it happened I surprised myself at how much development I managed to fit in and that I was in fact suitably satisfied with my idea. Everything seemed to fall into place at exactly the right time, and only just in time; proof enough for me that my creativity and imagination is given and nourished by the one ultimate Creative Imagination. Even the actual shooting and editing of my Pitch was done in the final weekend before the deadline and I got it finished and uploaded just in time. But the great thing about making movies, and what is especially relevant when entering competitions, is that their completion is in fact simply the start of a new life (I suppose that’s partly what’s so great about the Christian life as well...). Like FilmG, uploading my Pitch is just the start of the more exciting journey my idea may take and once again I hope the judges like it... though I don’t necessarily expect it. In truth I’m not as desperate to win this competition as I might be, given the amazing prize, since it looks like it will hopefully be an annual competition and next year I will have an even better idea and a perfect Pitch! Who knows... here’s hoping for this year anyway; it would be a rather nice late Christmas present to be announced as a finalist on 11th January!

Please vote! Here's a link to the Registration page:

http://enterthepitch.com/register.php

‘The Island Tapes’ Screening

I was really quite inspired by this arrangement of silent black and white films of the Western Isles from the early 20th century put to live music. The music itself was very impressive, with Alyth McCormack’s haunting Gaelic singing combining with very Celtic guitar playing and David Allison’s epic live looping, and the films themselves were fascinating, a real window into the past and an obvious contributor to the art we have today, but when the two elements were put together the effect was quite mesmerising. These films stood up as a performer alongside the live musicians to deliver a well-rounded programme that took us through a range of emotions. This was definitely worth going to see and I’m sure there are a few film premises in amongst this dramatic and emotive material just waiting to be discovered...

Finishing 'The Golden Rule'

So the fabulous foreign film is finally finished, and it’s time for me to be reflective. What have I learned in the making of this film? Hmmm, don’t shoot in Mugdock Park in November if you value being able to feel your toes! Or never run backwards with the camera if there’s a bunch of rocks behind you!! Or, if desperate, armpits make useful battery chargers!!!

In all seriousness I have learnt a huge amount in the course of this project. If I compare my knowledge and experience when I first thought up the idea to what it is now after the finished film has been safely uploaded the distance I have come is huge. Once again it is not just my own personal journey that stands out in my reflections but also the support and assistance of my first-class colleagues. Never will I cease to be amazed and humbled by the way they rose to the challenge and gave so much so willingly. Though I may call it ‘my film’ and label it ‘my entry to FilmG’ the truth is I am really only the funnel through which the talents of many people were poured into this project. I am pleased with the film and all I can hope now is that the audience (and judges!) appreciate it as much as I appreciate all those who helped put my little dream on screen.

Here's a link to the film:

http://www.filmg.co.uk/en/viewfilm09.php?id=146&category=3

Salesman

This documentary, made by the Maysles brothers in 1968, records the dying out of door-to-door salesmanship in America by following the lives of four men trying to make a living by selling Bibles. Now, to me, that premise was quite intriguing and I was rather looking forward to this real-life version of ‘Death of a Salesman’ but unfortunately it didn’t turn out that way. The film is called ‘Salesman’ and yet it follows the exploits of four salesmen which, though interesting, is unhelpful and confusing. One is given slightly more attention than the others (the oldest one I think) and in him we see the fascinating and tragic character of a man whom the world has left behind and who is losing all sense of purpose in his life but won’t admit it to himself. A great story. So why not focus in on that story? Why not concentrate on one narrative and present us with a clear protagonist? These are the questions I found myself asking of Salesman. However, I let it off because it is old and a classic, made at a time when documentary was still new. I have heard it described as a “landmark documentary” but I’m afraid I have to disagree. It is a good enough documentary recording what is definitely a ‘landmark’ in history but it itself, in my opinion, is nothing all that special. Arthur Millar does a better job.

The Battle of Algiers

I found the realism and documentary style of this film somewhat refreshing compared to the glossy fantasy of Hollywood which can so easily become superficial or distracting. This film is of course a retelling of a real-life event and therefore this style not only works for the material but in fact adds to the overall impact of the film. This realism, being its main attraction for me, was also its main problem if I was to critically measure it against any other film. It wasn’t entertaining. Now of course war and revolution is never supposed to be entertaining but the job of a filmmaker is to take you on an emotional journey where you can be entertained even in the midst of such surroundings. I felt it was a bit too much of a record and not personalised enough to make a good drama. Nevertheless though maybe more of a history lesson than a film it was still well-made and relatively engaging.

‘The Golden Rule’ Reshoot

So once again, amazingly, the rain held off... mostly. We did have a bit of drizzle which did force us to stop shooting at one point but our main problem was actually that it was extremely cold. It was painful to watch as the cast shivered in shorts and t-shirts waiting for a take to start. However this time we had a much more sensible schedule and it was a shorter day. We shot everything with care and efficiency and I was very pleased with the result and proud of everyone involved. More than anything I feel relief that we’ve finally got everything in the can. The days are getting shorter, darker, colder and wetter and the time for shooting films involving cross-country races is definitely coming to an end! The Scottish winter season is a time for editing and finishing films, as well as writing and continuing to come up with dark and depressing ideas to reflect our wonderful weather! So now the deadline for FilmG is fast approaching and it’s time to see if all the work and collaboration put into this project has produced anything coherent.

The Mitchell Library Archives

I do enjoy our field trips! This visit to the Archives in Glasgow’s Mitchell Library (the largest public library in Europe) was both informative and exciting. What a privilege to have such an incredible resource right on our doorstep. We were shown a number of old documents including the oldest one in the Archive; a hand-written document for the sale of land from 1100s. History is a goldmine of ideas, characters, stories and places just waiting to be turned into films. I enjoyed National Treasure for this reason. It managed to capture in some small way the excitement of history. I can see myself sometime in the future, maybe sooner than I think, visiting the Archives and poring over old documents as characters and narratives leap out at me.

"History is the record of an encounter between character and circumstances." Donald Creighton

300

I watched this with a pretty good idea of what to expect, so from the start I was analysing it in a specific way. 300 is, to all intents and purposes, a good genre film. Lads sit down wanting an action-packed, blood-soaked ride without having to think too much and I would say that’s exactly what they get. However I do have to take issue with it on one thing in particular. It’s not believable. Now, of course it’s not necessarily trying to be the most authentic historical drama of all time but I believe any film needs to suspend the audiences disbelief for the whole duration if possible. 300 didn’t manage this at all and the reasons are I think obvious.

Firstly, CGI overruled the story. This film was created in a computer and it is painfully obvious. Not just the over-stylised colour grading and contrast manipulation but the backgrounds, armies and wide-shots are all so computerised it is impossible to believe in them. Sets are used repeatedly but with different backgrounds and sometimes entire shots are CG having never existed on film. To me this seems like a worryingly lazy way to make a film but I suppose it’s what comes of basing it on a graphic novel; many of the shots are recreated straight from Frank Miller’s original illustrations.

Secondly, the performances are not believable. I sympathise; it must be hard to genuinely get inside a character’s head when you are surrounded by bright fluorescent green instead of rocky valleys or fields of corn. Nevertheless it is the actor’s job to act and I got the impression that many in the cast were there for a laugh rather than to give a serious performance. Gerard Butler shouting “This is Sparta!” in a broad Scottish accent was quite enough to evoke the response: “Eh... no it’s no, pal!”.

Related to this also, and thirdly, the characters were not believable. If these men really had been fed nothing but combat and war all their lives I don’t think they would be quite as polite and socially adept as was depicted. They would not have real friendships, they would not be intellectually competent and their motivations would probably be quite different.

So this brings me to my fourth and final point; the story was not believable. As I see it this film was made primarily for the images – to reflect the graphic novel – then secondly for the action and then thirdly for the story. That, to me, seems like an upside down priority list. That whole thing about them fighting for ‘freedom’ is clearly just thrown in there to provide some filling in the sandwich of battle violence and hardcore effects, and because it sounds vaguely American! What is ‘freedom’ anyway? I’m pretty sure none of those Spartans could tell you, but they were willing to have a good slash-about, and ultimately die, even so.

So I couldn’t help thinking the neglect of story in this film left it sadly lacking but nevertheless I enjoyed it for what it was; a computer-generated action-saturated muddle of comic book carry on.

Shooting 'The Golden Rule'

The Golden Rule, or An Riaghailt Or, is my Gaelic short film for FilmG. The Friday evening shoot went rather swimmingly and was most enjoyable and Saturday – a full day shooting in Mugdock Park – was in fact a great day. As I got up at 5am my main worries were firstly that the weather would not hold out and we would be rained off and secondly that the light would run out and we wouldn’t get everything shot. As it turned out I should have been more worried about battery power! Just over halfway through our schedule the batteries began to empty and by the end of the day we were reduced to using ‘bits of batteries’ and – wait for it – holding the batteries under our armpits to try and get a final burst of power from them; Gavin’s brainwave, and it worked! So by that point our ‘professional practise’ had maybe gone out the window a tiny bit but overall I was enormously impressed by the way we worked together as a film crew. I could sense huge improvements in communication and focus even just since working on Little Clown. Harmonious collaboration is perhaps one of the most beautiful things the human race is capable of, and it gets results. One of the extras, a scarily exercise-mad woman kind enough to act as a ‘cross-country runner’, commented on how professional we were and that was perhaps the most uplifting part of the whole shoot. I was very pleasantly surprised that we got just about everything shot that we set out to get even if two scenes were rushed quite shockingly. But I should have known it was too good to be true...

First thing on Monday morning I got the footage to Ally (the editor) who started digitising immediately. That afternoon we discovered that most of what we shot on Saturday afternoon had not recorded properly (dirty heads or something) and was unusable. An entire scene, almost two, was missing from our media. After considering some depressing compromises we finally decided to go for the headache of a reshoot at the coming weekend. Although this is more than just a slight nuisance it is, in my opinion almost a blessing in disguise. Neither Paul or I were particularly happy with the footage we had recorded that afternoon because it had been so rushed and of course we want the film to be the best it can be. So... here’s hoping for Saturday!

The Searchers

This was, as Andy said, “just a great movie”. It had everything you would expect from a good western and, for that matter, from any good story. Having seen the first three minutes in our previous class I had the opportunity to predict where the story might go. I was way off. I had thought due to the subtly detailed opening of the film, where John Wayne’s character Ethan returns ‘home’, that it was going to be about a roving, reckless rogue trying to settle down but perhaps realising that it is too late and his only real home is in the saddle. As it turns out, the introduction of Aaron’s family is not loaded with so much information in order to set-up their story but to set-up their sudden removal from Ethan’s story. That is the inciting incident of the film and therefore we need as much information about them and Ethan’s relationship with them as we can get as this must last us for the duration of the narrative and give us a foundation for Ethan’s motivations and actions. The set-up is skilfully implemented and, like the Indians in the film, John Ford misdirects us, setting us off on the wrong trail before galloping into the main narrative.

Derrick Ritchie – Lighting Gaffer

I’ve been a bit unfortunate when it comes to technical classes with industry practitioners so far. First it was Cammy for Sound and I was at the Mòd, and this time it was Derrick for Lighting and I had an MER Meeting. So I only got the benefit of an hour of his class though that was enough to pick up some very handy tips and gain an insight into the role and responsibilities of a Gaffer. One thing I would have liked to have asked him was if he knew where names like ‘gaffer’, ‘best boy’ and ‘grip’ originated from and how they came to be used for roles in a film crew. I did a bit of personal research and it seems that ‘gaffer’ is a traditional English name for a grandfather or respectful term for an elder and has been used as the name for Chief Electrician on a film set since 1936. ‘Best boy’ is much the same in origin and dates back to the apprentice system where the ‘best boy’ was the Master’s oldest and most experienced apprentice, the second-in-command, and this is reflected in their role on a film set. ‘Grip’ on the other hand seems to originate from the circus, and possibly from the early days of filmmaking where ‘grips’ were men whose job was literally to ‘keep a good grip’ on the camera to prevent it moving. All this really fascinates me and I’d love to research it more, but certainly it was very interesting to have a session with a real Gaffer even if it was, for me, rather brief.

Twelve Angry Men

This was the third time I’d seen this film and I was perfectly happy to sit through it again. It is a very well-written drama and the story unfolds with pace and precision as the characters open out and underlying hypocrisy, prejudice and bitterness are exposed. The one major issue, which struck me the first time I saw it, is its inescapable ‘theatricality’. It is a play, and works as such, but the very premise is, I’m afraid to say, ‘cinematically’ boring (I can imagine Richard’s reaction if I were to pitch something similar to him!). What jarred most, and reminded me that this was really a piece of theatre I was watching, was the constant getting up and walking around. It seems unnatural that whenever someone has line they have to get up and do something while they deliver it. This is necessary though as there is little visual excitement to be had from twelve men sitting round a table and it is all credit to Lumet that it is in fact as engaging as it is.

Good Bye Lenin!

So I finally got round to watching Good Bye Lenin! and I was a bit confused initially. It had been recommended to me as a comedy, even on the DVD cover was the quotation “A brilliantly original comedy”, but although it was certainly original and the premise had potential to be very funny I didn’t find it as comedic as I had hoped. A serious drama with humorous moments is probably a better description I feel. However, I was watching it for a purpose; as part of my study of German cinema. Interestingly this film broke the trend somewhat. Where previously the emphasis seemed to have been on Production Design more than story this film focussed primarily on story and character. However, design did play a crucial role as the story centres around the changes within Germany as the Berlin wall comes down. Much of the ‘western’ influences are told visually, for example the ‘Coca-cola’ logo popping up all over the place. Westernisation is seen as negative in the film and yet ironically this film is more ‘westernised’ than the other German films I’ve seen. Although it has lost that unique German look and texture it has not forsaken the artistic quality and emotional depth of a European production; the contrast in style and tone would have been immense had Hollywood got their hands on this premise first.

Avid Editing

I am certainly an avid editor, though it may take some time before I am an AVID editor. Gavin introduced us to the AVID editing software and highlighted some of the differences between it and Final Cut. I think I could get the hang of it relatively quickly; the basic principles are the same as any other NLE system. What excites me about it so much actually is its grounding in the original physical process of ‘cutting’ a film, even down to the symbols for an open and closed ‘bin’ where the footage is stored. Somehow this association with the past changes the whole approach of the editor and certainly gives me a more professional, even reverent, attitude to my editing. I also get the impression that AVID is a much more reliable piece of software. I feel I can trust it more for after all it is what the professionals use and has been first choice in the industry for at least a dozen years. I really look forward to using it more and discovering new levels to editing as I take this next step.

The Conversation

I don’t feel I have much to say about The Conversation. It was a good film and I found it reasonably enjoyable. It is hard to judge how much of a breakthrough it was in terms of sound as I feel Ben Burtt with Star Wars and WALL∙E is more on the front-line in that area. I do like this sort of mystery genre where the significance of one event becomes greater and greater as we discover more but I felt the film was a bit slow-moving for it to completely satisfy this style. It was certainly an interesting study on the issue of privacy and paranoia.

Sound

My Gaelic songs came in useful elsewhere also. I felt very bad about turning up late and leaving early from Cammy’s class so I could get to and from Oban but I am consoled that I did have an authorised absence sheet and that I sort of bought my permission by performing some songs for us to practise recording! Cammy seems great. He really knows his stuff and is very willing to impart as much knowledge as he can. He is not a teacher he is a sound recordist working in the industry which means he has no specific teaching method but in my opinion that is exactly how it should be. Better to have someone who really knows what they’re talking about and is certain to be communicating information that is definitely applicable than someone who is simply following a syllabus and doesn’t necessarily know how it practically applies.

The Royal National Mòd 2009

The Mòd is a Gaelic festival not much different from any other music festival except in its celebration of the whole culture surrounding the language, not just the music and poetry. So why mention it in my Reflective Performance Journal? Well, I competed this year in the Silver Pendant competition (for solo singers; the Silver pendant being the highest accolade for learners of the language) and to my delight I won (picture is me receiving the trophy for highest marks in the men’s competition). Though this may seem to have little to do with my studies in film and television it is nevertheless performance and, as I am now aware, this is a Performance Journal. There is a lot to be learned from standing up in front of an audience to communicate a song, especially if you yourself are not fluent in the language you are singing. It is a good insight into the actor’s process in terms of getting inside a character, and communicating that character, even if they themselves do not reflect that personality at all. I did also record a song for television (and I got to sit in the BBC studio for a bit to watch them work) which, again, was invaluable first-hand experience of what it’s like to perform for a camera, or in this case three or four. Moreover I think there is something in the communicating of a song in a language that I am not completely familiar with, but that in most cases my audience was, that directly reflects where I am as a filmmaker right now. I’m not going to pretend I am fluent in the language of film. I am definitely learning it, and am able to understand, interpret and speak it more and more, but as yet my knowledge as a filmmaker does not match that of the audience, who in most cases have been brought up with it. Yet, like my Gaelic singing this does not necessarily limit my ability to tell a story through the medium of film. I know neither my Gaelic nor my music was flawless in my songs but it wasn’t entirely because of technical ability that I won. I believe it was because I knew the message of the song and I put all my effort into communicating that with the audience. They engaged with the character, they felt the emotion and the slight technical problems didn’t even matter. The same is true of film. If the message and meaning is convincingly and wholeheartedly portrayed the audience will not worry that the filmmaker is not quite fluent in the language; they will sit back and enjoy the performance.

FilmG 'Shooting Your Film' workshops

On Saturday I was in Inverness at the Highlands & Islands Enterprise building for a workshop day organised by FilmG to help in the process of practically turning a script into a film. It basically consisted of three one-on-one tutorials with industry professionals; a director – Eleanor Yule, a Gaelic producer – Morag Stewart, and a designer – Mark Lease. I found it extremely helpful. As it happened my script came out needing to be totally re-structured and re-written but it was worth it just to thrash out the problems with some people who really knew what they were talking about. Of course we didn’t only talk about the script. I also had lengthy conversations about good DPs, Kevin Macdonald and The Eagle of the Ninth, German Expressionism and what it takes to make it in the industry. I experienced a rainbow of emotions as I met these people, allowed my work to be scrutinised and opened myself to their comments and criticism but ultimately the day was both challenging and rewarding. I got a feeling, which I’m not going to try and explain, where I just knew that this was the day I would look back upon and remember as the day I knew my goal was possible, I have the potential, and that if I really want to then I can make it in this industry; my dream became, just for a moment, a visible reality.

Strike (Stachka)

The first two-thirds of this film were skilfully constructed and very engaging. I was pleasantly surprised to find myself understanding the characters, appreciating the editing and following the story without being distracted by the less familiar silent film style. Moreover the story content was refreshingly original for me; I don’t know many stories about worker-strikes. So I bought into it and was even enjoying it… then Eisenstein went a bit crazy… and very Russian. The last two sections of this film in six chapters just completely lost me, confused me, amused me (unintentionally I’m sure!) and ultimately bored me. My main issue was with character. Cleverly Eisenstein had set up various main characters amongst the workers who we knew and recognised but then in the build-up to the climax, when our emotional attachment to the characters is of greatest importance, they disappear. Worse, he actually introduces a whole bunch of new characters – some crazy people who live in barrels – and goes off on a complete tangent. This community has not been set up in any way and neither has the set-up of our previous group of characters been paid off. I just became totally lost. Further to this problem is Eisenstein’s insistence, like in Potemkin, of making ‘the mob’ his protagonist. We become emotionally engaged in a story if we know and care for the characters. A mob is kind of hard to engage with, on any level, especially if they’re running around willy-nilly doing goodness knows what without a moments breather. The intended theme of injustice doesn’t work unless we somehow know this crowd and feel their pain. When they are hosed down we are obviously supposed to feel angry at the unfairness of the situation but because I had no emotional attachment I felt nothing and instead watched it with mild discomfort and occasionally amusement. Even the baby being thrown off the balcony produced horrified hilarity rather than serious shock and the cow being slaughtered, though unpleasant to watch, had little emotional significance for me. So I don’t think Eisenstein set up his pay-offs, or paid off his set-ups in this film and despite some ground-breaking editing it lost both my emotional attachment and engagement with the story.

More New Starts

Our first class of the Cinema Movements module followed on from our screening of Metropolis and was about Production Design. The visual language of film is something which fascinates me and I am reading up a bit on Semiotics at present, purely for interest sake. Production Design is one of those elements which, like Music, if done well should be unnoticeable. It is, as Andy said, there to enhance the story, not supplant it; “The most beautiful ballroom on earth means nothing unless it helps the context of the story” Patrizia von Brandenstein. I did have an idea for a film where the design was what excited me about it, rather than any element of the story, only to discover that A Very Long Engagement might already have implemented my idea. That’s another one for the viewing list! We also touched on the place of CGI in films as an aid for Production Design. I was delighted and impressed by a birthday card I received from a friend (hand-made!) which pretty much sums up the issue.

Not much has changed in our Screenwriting classes. Still starting with a warm-up, still certain of receiving homework and still not all sure about theme! I’m very glad we are still having classes as I find them very helpful and motivational. I am determined to be regimentally self-disciplined this year with my writing and make the time for it. Hopefully by the time we move into tutorials my writing will be habitual and self-motivated. I do enjoy it, I just don’t do it regularly enough.

Our module on TV Content with Adam started this year with a brief from Channel Four for a programme idea. This is apparently what we will be working on this year and I know already that I will be rubbish at it. I don’t watch enough television and I’m pretty sure the kind of idea Channel Four will be looking for is not my type of thing. I am determined to try and think out of the box and do my best with it but if I’m honest it’s not really my cup of tea.

Technical classes started up with a ‘quiz’ to test our retention of information from last year which was accessed through Moodle (Ray’s new toy) and was unexpectedly difficult. “Multiple choice,” thought I, “how hard can it be?”. Many of the questions covered things that I’m sure we never learnt last year… or maybe my memory is just worse than I thought. However, we did also break out some kit and even now there is an irresistible surge of excitement when handling and learning about new and more professional kit. Somehow even just the sight of a 570 sitting on a Ronford Baker tripod is enough to get the adrenaline-pumping and to awaken the urge to get out there and shoot movies!

Metropolis

I need to explore more German cinema. So far the German films I have seen (e.g. Nosferatu, Der Architek) have shared a quality and rich texture which has fascinated me. I get the impression that Germans go for the look first and foremost, and then story is secondary and this held true for Metropolis. The production design was immense and I can well imagine that the inspiration for the world came way before any characters or story were created to populate that world. This is interesting because it conflicts with the basics we looked at with Zam, and have been taught by Richard, where Story comes first and style follows (something which I discovered Petra, our exchange classmate from the Czech Republic, disagrees with). I suppose this comes down to a fundamental contrast between the Americanised view of filmmaking and the more art-house stylistic method which is often seen in European cinema. In short, perhaps one is commercial and the other art? But I digress. Metropolis kept me wide-eyed and mildly entertained, though I did find myself laughing at moments which I’m certain were not intended to be funny, and all in all it was an innovative and inspiring visual feast. I am aware that most of my comment at this stage cannot merit more than mere speculation but I do intend to educate myself further if possible on German cinema in particular. My first step will be to watch another German film which has been recommended to me: Good Bye Lenin!

New Starts

I was shocked to discover, on reading the Programme Handbook we were given at the start of last year (yes, I got round to reading it eventually… it is now my constant study!), that I have been deluded for an entire year. RPJ is not, as I had thought, an acrostic for Reflective Personal Journal but for Reflective Performance Journal… and I blame Creative Beginnings. Therefore where last year I kept a personal journal this year I will try and make it more of a performance journal and instead of recording my reflections in weekly entries I will write a separate post for each significant reflection.

As is to be expected there was a lot of talking to sit through during our welcome to first the School of Drama and then the DFTV Programme most of which was very encouraging. By far the most exciting piece of information was the news that our second year will be focussed on performance (as if to spite my personal journal...) and what happens in front of the camera, working with actors and bringing characters alive. Also the introduction of a Directing module sounds intriguing and all in all it seems to be shaping up to be an adventurous and challenging year. I can’t wait.

No gentle transition for us busy second years. We kicked off on our first afternoon back with an introductory class on Factual Filmmaking. I’m finding I have an unexpected interest in non-fiction storytelling, research and the gathering and organising of information. I am really keen to try my hand at some serious documentary-making. I have a few ideas in the pipeline which was hugely helpful as I could apply them as Andy went through the process of research and practically walk it through in my mind. I also really enjoyed our blitzed research project on the enigma that is ‘Andy Dougan’ which was perhaps more fun than it was informative but I’m sure I won’t forget the things I learned in that class anyway!

Principles of Directing, in theory, sounds amazing and I know it’s early days yet but I couldn’t help feeling that what we were doing with Zam Salim on Wednesday – showing our favourite films and discussing them – we had already covered in either Andy’s first Cinema module or in Screenwriting class. However I can appreciate that this is probably more for Zam’s benefit than ours at present. He needs to get to know the class. I must say I’m rather impressed with him so far… but maybe I’m just star-struck by someone who is actually living the dream; and not just any dream… my dream!

Year Two - Setting Sail

I feel compelled to briefly record my emotional standing prior to setting out on the adventure that is Year Two of this fantastic course. Pre-voyage log entry if you like… before the anchor is hauled up, the sails unfurled, the flag hoisted and the wind allowed to turn the bow to face the open ocean with all its beauty and storms, its life and longing, its ups and downs… you get the point (nothing like a big juicy metaphor to start us off for another year!).

And I must admit that as my vessel floats, strong and proud, in the Holiday harbour I cannot help noticing the many marks and modifications that have been added since this time last year. Truly there is more happening on that ship than ever before. It is larger than it was, not physically but in its influence, its authority, its experience and even its military strength. Looking at this ship I know that it still has far to go, much to see and do, miles and miles of uncharted ocean to explore with many an island to visit along the way, many a battle to win and lose, and although the wealth stored below deck is considerable I know it is only the beginning of the riches it will gather on this voyage. I have little fear as to whether the hull will withstand the harsh conditions it will no doubt have to endure for it is not made with my own material or indeed by my own hand. It was skilfully and lovingly made by a Master Shipbuilder and it belongs to him. Indeed I gave up the helm to him long ago… he is the Captain. Yet I am not, and probably never will be, completely satisfied as I gaze upon this magnificent vessel. My biggest concern is in fact not in the ship itself but in its course. Where exactly is it going? There are so many directions it could sail in, so many places it could go or missions it could undertake… I know there is some unrest amidst the crew as to what the purpose and destination of our voyage should be but again, ultimately, that is not for me to worry about. All I need do is set a course in the direction the Captain tells me. I may not necessarily like the course he has set but I trust him, and so far he has never led me wrong.

But there’s the order. The ship’s anchor is being pulled clear of the water. The time has come to set sail and once again it seems to have crept up on me before I have completed all the preparations I would have liked. I can steer my own ship but the wind and tide I have no control over! A warm sensation of bubbling excitement is rising inside me as I think about the voyage ahead. Who knows where we are headed? The sails are beginning to flap impatiently, the ship is turning to face the glorious unknown… and I better get aboard or it will leave without me!

Week 11 - Pass and Proceed

Ironic that the most exciting, fun and creative part of editing took me barely an hour after having spent three full days trying to digitise and organise all the footage. Having finally finished capturing all the media for Little Clown and then cut together my half of the film Michael and I combined our efforts to form a first rough editors’ cut. This then Adam had to see first and, although not one for unnecessarily displaying emotions, I think he was rather impressed though he did, of course, have a few suggestions. Following this Charlotte was finally allowed to see her film and she too provided us with some notes. So adjustments were made to the rough cut and steadily the film began to fall into shape.

Tightening of the edit continued throughout this week as did frantic discussions with the composer who wasn’t quite getting the tone that Charlotte was looking for and seemed to be providing either Harry Potter-like horror music or the score for a tragedy (after all, he is Greek!).

On Tuesday afternoon we had our last screening of the year; a film from 1970 called MASH. Regretfully I found this rather disappointing; firstly because it hadn’t really decided what it was. It could have been either a comic war-time drama or a full-on comedy set during the Korean War but instead it seemed to be simply a mess; but as Andy said, the shoot was such a kafuffle it’s a wonder they got a film out of it at all. Secondly the humour was not at all to my taste. Much like The Hangover which I saw earlier in the week most of the comedy seemed to be derived from sheer craziness and inappropriateness or from archetypal characters who are inevitably the focus of much mocking. Call me old-fashioned but I prefer humour that is less impolite and more witty; I like things that make me laugh out loud and unfortunately most of the comedy in MASH left me either confused or embarrassed. However, I have since learned that it spawned a TV series and it’s possible the sprawled, incoherent, zany nature of this film would lend itself better to the small screen.

Thursday was another full day on Little Clown, now at the final stages: minor adjustments to the edit, sound editing, grading (by Gavin) and scoring. I also had a quick tutorial with Adam to chat about how the year had gone. He was quite complementary about how he thought I was doing and I was quite complementary about the programme so I think we were both happy. Certainly, on reflection, I am able to realise just how much I have learned and I know that the wisdom, knowledge and experience that I have gained from this year will make a strong foundation to build upon in years to come.

So my final morning in the Academy in Term 3 was spent putting the final touches to Little Clown and burning it to a DVD for a screening. It was in a very presentable form, though I expect it may need a bit of tweaking after the summer before the final version can be screened.

So again I have to stop myself and look back on just how far I’ve come. When I compare myself now to what I was at the start of Year 1 I can see quite clearly the development of my skills and understanding and just how perfect this course was for me. I was eager to learn and hungry for knowledge and the Academy provided the resources and environment where I might satisfy that hunger and also discover more to be hungry for. Any day is an experience but on this course every day is just the experience I would want, and that is a wonderful thing. The list of marks for this years’ graduates was rather impressive – all 1s and 2.1s – but also quite daunting if our year is to live up to that. For us it was simply a “Pass and proceed to Year 2” which is slightly less dramatic. I don’t often mention my class as a whole but I feel I should say that in that too I am hugely privileged. They are an amazing group of people, all excellent practitioners as well as great friends and it is an honour to know them. The tutors also are inspiring people and I have a great deal of respect for them. I could go on praising but I may begin to make even myself envious! The fact is; this is an awesome course and I am very blessed to be on it.

Now I am away to enjoy what I hope will be an awesome summer, then it’s back to work in what I’m sure will be an awesome second year and so it goes on… life is one awesome adventure.

God bless.

Week 10 – Post-Production

I had hoped to get cracking straight-away on capturing and cutting the footage for Little Clown but most people were in Edinburgh for the Festival so I couldn’t get hold of the tapes. Instead, on Monday, John and I finished putting together our web-drama idea for Adam’s assignment. We were the last to hand it in.

So Wednesday morning Michael and I finally got underway with the editing. First, before the actual creative storytelling of cutting the film can start, the footage must be logged and captured. We started this process and as normal it took longer than we would have hoped. Complications arose with the logging sheets, timecode errors disrupted capturing and then just when I thought it was all finally on the Editshare it turned out to have messed up all the media unexplainably making it unusable. So eventually we had to start all over again. As always technology when it works is wonderful but when it doesn’t it’s a nightmare; it’s one of those things, I can’t live with it and yet I can’t live without it!

So it was, after two full days of wrestling with the tedium that is technology, at the end of Friday I still hadn’t quite managed to get all the media sorted and captured. However, the advantage of having two editors is that while I was working on sorting the footage Michael could be using the stuff already captured to make a start on the first cut. So, this was not as productive a week as I would have liked, and with quite a bit of frustration towards the end, but it’s all good experience and it will be the holidays soon anyway.

Edinburgh International Film Festival

Here is a collection of thoughts from various things I attended at the festival:

Moon actually took me by surprise. I knew very little about it except that it starred Sam Rockwell as a character who is (I had guessed) alone on a lunar base. Not being a Rockwell fan in any shape or form it was not him that drew me to it but more the curiosity of how a drama would work with only one character. Also I wanted to see if it was simply a copy of Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey and essentially it was the same ingredients but shaken up and mixed around enough to make it something new. Cleverly it managed to subvert the expectations an audience may have from 2001 and even use them to mislead; particularly with regards to the HAL-like computer on the base. The film is very emotionally colourful and explores the psychology of a character that we have to be interested in simply because he is the only one there is. To begin with it seems that the science-fiction setting of the film is no more than an attempt to give a slow psychological drama a more interesting flavour but an unexpected twist provides the viewer with a mystery and character conflict; something which is hard to achieve with only one character. It is still a psychological thriller, only in a sci-fi setting, but it is well-made and I quite enjoyed it.

I attended a panel discussion on Digital Restoration which was very interesting and rather enlightening as to the processes that are involved in restoring old picture and sound. What fascinated me most was the ethics involved and when exactly restoration starts to actually turn the original into something totally different. It was great to see the difference that could be made to old films to really bring them to life again but I suppose, as with anything, there’s a responsibility to not go too far.

Pushing Buttons was an event taken by James Harkin, author of Cyburbia: The Dangerous Idea That’s Changing How We Live and Who We Are, and was extremely relevant to what we are learning about in Adam’s class on Mobile/Web Content. Harkin argued that our new cybernetic age has spawned a new and sophisticated type of storytelling, that he called cyber-realism, which is made up of four elements. He described his theory very effectively and gave clear examples from contemporary cinema and television, most notably Duplicity, Memento, The Wire and Lost. It was quite exciting to see a break-down of a story structure which is almost entirely new and I felt afterwards that not only did I have a greater comprehension of these types of stories but I was actually equipped to even write one myself. It is good that a new form of storytelling is emerging which is less predictable and more engaging for a modern audience but at the same time there is a serious danger that these stories may simply operate like a machine and have no soul or meaning.

Der Architekt was a German drama that actually had nothing to do with architecture as the name might suggest. The main character happened to be an architect but this was actually entirely irrelevant as the story focussed on his past and his family. It was set in the snowy landscapes of the Alps and the lush cinematography was at times breathtaking. Although not being a particularly up-beat story it was surprisingly easy to watch because the performances were so enthralling and the editing and music were both generous and simple. It wasn’t the kind of film I would choose to watch again and yet it was quite refreshing viewing. It made no attempt to conform to more conventional, or Hollywood-type, structure and instead reflected the good old Shakespearean tragedy. This was Ina Weisse first full-length feature as a writer/director and it was very impressive for that. I think what I liked most was how humble this film was. It didn’t set out to make the ultimate story about an architect but instead took a normal human and showed us an incident in his life. Unfortunately therein also was its failing. I came out of that screening no more enlightened about humanity than when I went in; this film had no inspirational message, it had nothing new to say.

The Family Shorts Programme was an event where eight short films suitable for families were screened. I was rather disappointed that they were not at all aimed at families but aimed at children which is in fact not the same thing at all. I was hoping to see some good quality family entertainment but instead it seemed every second film was about an outcast child who is bullied and lonely… because that appeals to children apparently. However there were some gems amongst them and I was substantially impressed by the professional technical execution of almost every one; both live-action and animation. The field of short filmmaking is one which I am having to comprehend more and more and it was great to see some examples of top-of-the-range shorts from all over the world.

No Greater Love was a fascinating documentary about the alternative lifestyle pursued by an order of Carmelite nuns in the Monastery of the Most Holy Trinity in Notting Hill, London. It provided insight into a community devoid of all the conventions, speed and bustle of modern society; these nuns are silent for most of the day, socialising only on two separate hour-long occasions, and have little contact with the outside world. Their fulfilment is found not in material possessions or even human relationships but in their connection with God, which is often an intense struggle, and in a deep, often painful, discovery of themselves. Though the documentary was an unbiased and respectful glimpse of this strangely industrious way of life it is hardly possible to watch it without forming some opinion of such an alien existence. For myself I could comprehend it with relative ease. God allows us into a real and living relationship with him if that is what we strive for, he reveals himself to us if we seek him with all our heart and he longs to draw us closer if we are willing to let him. I believe God does call some people to an existence like the one displayed by these nuns but often in order for us to find life he does not require us to change our relationships or community, for he is tending a far greater and more permanent change deep within us. Another audience member’s opinion, mentioned in the question time with director Michael Whyte after the screening, contained the phrase “wasted lives”. To this Whyte replied that the nuns would never see it this way and that he himself on sensing an inner peace within them could only say, “They’ve found something”. Far from ‘wasted life’ it seems that these nuns are somehow richer. Have we found that something, or are we still searching? Have we allowed God to find us, or are we still running?

Week 9 – The Shoot

I slept in! AGAIN! Of all the days my body could have picked to play a joke on me it chose the first day of shooting. Thankfully it wasn’t too much of a disaster because Murdo was driving me and some others to set but we did arrive ten minutes after our call time which I still maintain was the bad traffic and not my fault! After this, however, the day went extremely well. The truth of the matter is, whatever role one has, the actual shoot is one of the most exciting times in the filmmaking process. It’s when things start happening and there is a tangible reward for all the effort; the footage starts rolling into the can. Officially I had no on-set job because I would only be around for half the shoot but nevertheless I found myself quite demandingly busy throughout the day as an assistant script supervisor to Michael, a juggling double for the cast, an energising co-ordinator for a bunch of kids and even a clown. Needless to say I thoroughly enjoyed myself but whether my help (or hindrance?!) paid off is yet to be seen.

Our second day of shooting was somewhat more sedate and controlled since there was no need to venture outside and no groups of child extras were involved. My role on this day was chiefly the amuser and entertainer of young Robert, our ten-year-old lead actor. His behaviour had been excellent the day before, though he had shown signs of tiredness, but today it seemed the fatigue was starting to catch up. Unfortunately he was not the only one who needed to be kept in check because the doting Charlotte, in an understandable effort to keep him engaged, was allowing him just a bit too much authority and freedom. Cunning as a viper (as little boys so often are) Robert had figured out the hierarchy of the set. Knowing that Charlotte, as director, was ultimately in control and knowing that she would give him whatever he wanted he could effectively rule the roost. Fortunately, at least when I left, he hadn’t taken advantage of his position but the old saying did spring to mind (and not for the first time): “Never work with children and animals”… they’re much too dangerous.

On Wednesday I flew to London with a select few from the Spirit of Life Youth Choir. We were given a tour of the Houses of Parliament and then sang in the House of Lords as part of a presentation for the Epiphany Trust. It was an amazing day, I loved every minute, but being entirely unrelated to my course I shan’t expand anymore on it here!

Rapidly running out of adrenaline I spent the remainder of this week in the Edinburgh International Film Festival which was overall a very beneficial experience though sometimes tinged with disappointment. I hadn’t realised just how quickly events and screenings would be sold out or exactly what opportunities my delegate’s pass allowed. By the time I had got myself organised the three days were almost over; I’ll know for next year. So unfortunately I didn’t quite get my value for money for the three days but the events I did manage to attend were extremely valuable experiences.

Week 8 – Final Preparations

The Little Larks concert on Monday afternoon was the result of a community project for primary school kids and was organised by a team of people, one being Andrew McTaggart who happens to be from the School of Music, and a friend, and my singing teacher! It was through him that I found out about it and ended up helping to film it along with a freelancer, Alistair MacDonald. STV were also there recording some of the rehearsals for a future broadcast and the footage which I helped obtain would possibly be used for that also. It was another good experience and though I was not particularly pleased with my camera-work it was a great concert and well worth seeing.

Our last MER Meeting was strangely poignant as it was Anna Chaney’s last after two years of being a Rep. To think I’m just another part of that unceasing flow of students who enrol, do their bit and graduate. I may be the first Rep who will have been on the course for four years, instead of two, and I can say even only after one year that it’ll be a tough parting. But I suppose that’s what life is. Nothing slows down, nothing stops or (as Ros Maddison said) the only constant is change… very Thomas Hardy! Yet maybe that’s not the case. Certainly there would seem to be some things that we may think won’t change – like mountains, or the sun, or story – and some things we know do change but wish that they didn’t – like people, or friendship, or love. It is interesting that our first reaction when we fall in love is to want it to last forever, to never disappear, to remain unchanged. Yet it never does. Why would we want that if it’s not the way it normally works? Why should that longing be there? It’s like we have a built-in desire for a love that doesn’t change, that is constant, faithful, unfailing, enduring, everlasting… but we don’t find it in each other. So does it even exist? If only there was a book that explained its existence, and described what it was like and proved its constancy through history. If only that book was complete and constant and unchanging. If only we all had this book to read and understand.

“All for fun and fun for all” read a random text from my sister. It was yet more fun and games on Wednesday morning when Matthew and I took a juggling session for the cast of Little Clown. I was impressed with the progress made by both cast and crew and thoroughly enjoyed myself, as normal.

That afternoon I cut together an animatic of the film from the storyboard and let Charlotte see it to get an idea of timings, pacing, length and the general structure of the film.

The Acting Screen Workshop with Ali De Souza was an extremely useful and informative session which allowed an insight into the mentality and thought process of an actor faced with a camera. I am keenly interested in acting so it was great to pick up some hints but it was also very satisfying to see the actors begin to understand more of the filmmaking process. I wish there was more collaboration with the actors and I really hope that we will get more opportunities like this in second year.

Friday marked the big scary start of ‘the weekend before the shoot’. I could feel the anticipation mounting as I helped load some props into the van to be taken to location. This has potential to be a really professional little film; now to see if we can pull it off.

Week 7 – Fun and the Sun

Amazingly the gorgeous sunshine lasted through the weekend and far into this week. For the first time since coming to Glasgow I actually had trouble sleeping because it was too hot! Crazy.

Monday started with John and me in a tutorial with Adam for our web-drama idea. We came to the conclusion that we need to just try writing some of it, to get a feel for the comedy which I’m very excited to have a go at… if I can find the time!

Surprisingly classes have not finished yet despite having four assignments on the go and being in Production for our end-of-year film. We looked at scene-by-scene structuring with Kim for our stories for Coronation Street and it was rather pleasant to be told that we have now acquired skills almost beyond what is required for writing on Hollyoaks! Mercifully we got no homework.

Notwithstanding the regular production update sessions that punctuated this week the highlight was most certainly the auditions for the character of Beau which took place on Thursday evening. Five boys, ages ranging from six to ten, gathered for a very informal – very fun – audition workshop. I love youth work so this was a most enjoyable experience for me and an affirmation that I am in fact on the right course. Where else would I even be allowed to sing songs, play games, juggle, act and hang out with kids never mind be asked to do it! I was very impressed with Charlotte who was fun, friendly, gentle and relaxed around the kids and equally confident with the parents. All in all it was a great experience and I think if any of those guys enjoyed it even half as much as I did then it was a success.

Having failed to record even a single frame on the shoot for Dust the night before (a tragic story I must save for another time) Murdo removed all the kit from my flat and we transported it back to Academy. Ah, disappointment is bitter to the taste.

On the up side we only had a relatively brief production update that afternoon and then it was the weekend! Although the summer weather had passed on the summer feeling was still growing strong in my heart along with a sunshine of love for all the world!! And with that double helping of cheese I leave to hide my face in shame.

Week 6 – Summer Prep

Yet another bank holiday this Monday (hey, I'm not complaining!) during which Charlotte, Murdo and myself took kit over to the Arches and filmed the first of the Black Cats and Blue Angels cabaret performances from the Musical Theatre students. I learnt a few things from this experience: some of these performers think they are comedians; some are; some have one-track minds; some are great entertainers; and some can barely sing. Most of all I learnt that if I wasn't so desperate to be a filmmaker I would love to do that course. Maybe in the next life...

‘Production day’ on Tuesday (a.k.a. tutors-all-away-so-no-classes day) so used it in my own productive way!

True to form I was busy Wednesday morning again, this time with a meeting for MER reps (three turned up, myself included!) about changes to the agenda and also to get our feedback on the process. Following this I had a PAT Tutorial which was rather brief for, as Andy said, I’ve had a good year.

Wednesday afternoon saw the first of many Production sessions with Abigail to keep us on track with Little Clown. She went over the role of Script Supervisor with me and poor Michael, who I thought might have a break-down afterwards. I didn’t think it looked too complicated but it was rather a lot of information to take in all at once.

Our last teaching class with Andy was on the rise of high concept, effects-driven, blockbuster Hollywood filmmaking; all that popcorn that’s sold between the months of May and September. I don’t have a problem with this type of filmmaking (or should I say moviemaking!) in general except that it is entirely motivated by money rather than creative passion. There is nothing wrong with pleasing the masses but I think intentions should always be to make something worthwhile and good first and foremost and if it pleases the masses then so much the better. However if the intention is to give people what they want first and foremost then we end up with a whole lot of junk food which doesn’t do us any good and is in fact harmful. Often as creative practitioners in a medium of mass-communication we have a responsibility to refrain from giving the world what it wants and instead give it what it needs.

Next was another Production sesh with Abigail in which we made a Pre-production schedule for Little Clown; a very helpful process to visualise what has to be done and the time in which it should be accomplished. I used to do a similar thing in preparation for my exams at school. I am often surprised at how neatly all aspects of filmmaking fit with my personality and experience.

Adamant that a ray of light be cast on the current situation our course leader and camera tutor joined us for an update on the Little Clown situation on Friday morning. Following this Michael and myself in Post and Graeme in Sound had a meeting to discuss the script in more detail.

This week ended with a brief Production class where we covered the role of a Script Reader and were given an assignment to create a readers’ report.

A weekend overflowing with beautiful sunny weather caused me to long, only for a moment, that it was summer; but with assignments to complete, a film to make and a term to finish its not time to be thinking about sunbathing yet.

Week 5 – A Juggling Five-year-old

I decided to write a poem about my experience at Showlight:

Showlight 2009

The BBC were kind enough to let us help at Showlight
But I confess the work experience wasn’t actually the highlight,
For the free food that they offered, especially on Monday night,
Was supreme in taste and quantity and to me a pure delight!

But, despite the joy of moving table between each course,
The real hilarity ensued from the studio talk-back discourse,
Where a bored and dosing audience was the prime comedic source
Along with Derek (no small director), who told Luke to “use the force”.

We all met Roberto Schaefer, I feel I ought to add,
And learnt and did so much the recollection makes me glad.
Camera was great fun and even sound was not too bad,
All in all a great experience I’m hugely grateful that I had.


Easy Riders, Raging Bulls is a documentary about 1970s Hollywood and the directors of this time. I thought it was quite well made, though it did feel rather long, and it gave an interesting insight into the lives of some well-known directors.

On Thursday morning we finally discovered what we would be working on for the rest of this term. Instead of commissioning two scripts from now on there will be one big production that everyone will work on. I think this is a good development as it means we have more people, more money, more skills and more chance of making a really high quality film whilst avoiding the conflict that arises from having two productions running simultaneously. It does of course mean that fewer films will be made so there are fewer chances to try different roles. Charlotte’s Little Clown was commissioned; a marvellous script though quite a challenge. There is high demand from the art department with costume, make-up and set-dressing; an interesting ‘fantasy’ sequence; a good few extras, children to complicate matters; and to top it all the protagonist is a five-year-old boy… who has to be able to juggle!

Having already tried some Producing I thought I’d try and contribute to the creative side of this film a bit more and so I am to be an editor, along with Michael. On-set I will hopefully be trying my hand as a Script Supervisor. I am really looking forward to seeing this project develop; I think it could be amazing.

We wrapped up the TV module for this term with Andy on Friday morning by looking at the changes in how people watch television. This was a brief session so I took the opportunity to watch Easy Rider afterwards.

Maybe I never really gave it much of a chance but I thought Easy Rider was a terrible film. It was directed and produced by the stars playing the main roles and it seemed like they'd just thought it would be fun to mess about on motorbikes and make a film at the same time. Luckily they were in Hollywood so they had all the money and resources required to make a professional movie but I can’t help thinking two students with one camcorder and a decent story to tell might have done a better job. It was also highly predictable and occasionally agonisingly slow-paced so much so that I confess I was waiting for the end through most of it. It did, however, provide an interesting take on the concept of a misfit or outcast and how we react to counterculture or nonconformity. It sort of makes a point about freedom, I think, but not effectively or clearly enough to be engaging. Ultimately it looked quite nice, I enjoyed seeing the American landscapes, but it wasn’t entertaining.

We watched Floating Is Easy in Production and it was interesting to see the finished product of the script we have been breaking-down and scheduling. Abigail gave us some more advice to set us up for our upcoming production and she will be mentoring the production process for this film which should be very useful. So away we go… to find a five-year-old… who can juggle!

Week 4 - "This is the BBC!"

Something’s up with the communication lines between staff. Richard had no idea we would be working on Showlight with the BBC next week and so was slightly concerned about when our next tutorial would be. Then there’s the whole issue with the screenplays which he submitted. Two of them were supposed to be commissioned and made this term but no-one knows why that’s not happened yet either. Ah well, it all adds to the pressure and general confusion of the busiest term… I do love it.

Kim really made us work on Monday afternoon: sticking story beats up on the wall, fetching her cups of water, holding open the door… while she just sat there with her feet up! I mean you’d think she’d injured her leg or something the way she was carry on!! Anyway, it was rather interesting to put our Corrie stories together and arrange them into episodes.

Tuesday morning was a very brief class with Ray where we just ironed out any final issues with the upcoming technical projects: Showlight at the weekend, Black Cats and Blue Angels in a couple of weeks and ultimately the end-of-year class films (our assessment). I look forward to them all in eager anticipation and marvel once again at being privileged enough to have such opportunities. The independent projects are still going on the side of course and I spent the rest of the morning working on Dust.

Feeding my addiction of using Wednesday mornings productively Murdo, myself and some of the crew did a quick location recce for some scenes for Dust then proceeded in a chaotic, rushed, but quite successful, lunchtime shoot in the Academy Café Bar and the Fyfe Lecture Theatre. It seemed I spent most of the time scrounging for extras!

Abandoned and desolate the class of DFTV 1 sat in silence and sorrow staring at the empty screen in the Fyfe. They were waiting, nay, longing for one – just one – tutor to take the time to set up their screening of Bonnie and Clyde. But did anyone come? In Andy’s absence was there no-one who would show them kindness and compassion? Did anyone care? Unfortunately not, so eventually I had to go and find Gavin and request that he put the film on for us. The neglect…

Bonnie and Clyde was an entertaining film even if the ending was a bit of a downer (it was rather extreme… why couldn’t they have done it Charlotte’s Web-style!). I confess I saw it coming, or at least guessed the message of the film, from the moment they first jump in a stolen car and drive away. As with all stories about rebellion and the running away from the consequences of one’s actions it is inevitable that it will end with the main character(s) facing up to those consequences. It’s the classic adolescent film really. We rebel as teenagers and do just what we want because we don’t believe our actions will have consequences; and, of course, they do. Funnily enough I was ‘forced’ to go and see 17 Again with my sisters that evening and it had a very similar message, almost as a warning to high school kids, that we may feel like we can just do whatever we want but ultimately this is the beginning of life, we only get one shot, and we will have to accept the consequences of our actions at some point.

John and I are brainstorming away on a sit-com idea for the web. Adam seems to think it has some potential.

On Thursday evening I finished watching a BBC Series called Cranford; an engagingly enjoyable and expertly executed production and a reminder that the BBC really can make some high-quality programmes. In fact that ‘Jane Austen period’ costume-drama is probably what they do best, to a standard that no-one else in the world can match. I can’t get enough of it.

John Yorke from the BBC gave us a talk on Friday morning about story structure, and its importance in any writing. It was very informative and even though I was already familiar with some of the content the fresh and straightforward style in which it was delivered made it quite inspiring. I confess I was somewhat disappointed in his vocabulary (he seemed often limited to colloquial vulgarities!) but he was honest and open and I think he was genuinely interested in helping us. I am increasingly tempted to consider soaps as a next step in my career because I know I could do it and that it would be enormously beneficial to me… it’s just that I really don’t want to! Who knows, maybe it’ll grow on me (…like a fungus!).

In continuation of the ‘BBC’ theme this weekend was the start of our work experience with BBC Scotland on an event called Showlight, which is a gathering for all 'lighting people'. It is an amazingly exciting opportunity and it really gives me the feeling of getting somewhere in life if I can casually say, “Yeah, I’m working at the BBC this weekend.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IglY3cDTFOo

Week 3 – Representing Reality

Monday was a bank holiday so this week started with another editing assessment. Here we were given the whole day in which to cut together a rough edit of the other groups film from last term. So I was working on Melissa’s Mail and I quite enjoyed the experience. Editing is perhaps the most instantly gratifying form of storytelling and perhaps the most crucial one in the whole filmmaking process.

Paradise Now was quite a surprise. The characters and plot were interesting and engaging and overall I thought it was a well-written, well-executed film. It was not particularly entertaining and I found the subject matter a little hard to relate to but it did get me thinking about the representation of real-life situations. As Andy has often said, film is not reality. It is fiction, or, as Robert McKee puts it “Story is metaphor for life”. So when we start shaping a story around real people, or a real place, or real situations we have to say more than just the facts, or it wouldn’t be a story. We have to comment on the facts, give emotional significance to the facts, in order to make a point. However the audience isn’t necessarily aware that they are being influenced in this way and therefore representation is very important. We can of course take it too far so that we lose all sense of story. Ridley Scott’s film Kingdom of Heaven, I think, had this problem. It makes such a supreme effort to remain faithful to the facts but keep the representation of the Christians and the Saracens completely neutral that it ended up making absolutely no point at all. I would say the safest method is simply to avoid setting the story in the real world. This doesn’t necessarily mean setting it in a fantasy land or far-away galaxy but rather in a hyper-realism or a copy of our world where life can be commented on freely. There are some great stories that say something about real life without having to be set in the real world; the ultimate, and my favourite, would have to be the Narnia series.

On Wednesday afternoon we had a chat from Michelle Cotter from FilmG telling us about the competition this year. I am definitely planning to enter, with more than one film if I can. Last year it was just a bit of fun and now all of a sudden it seems all big and serious… maybe it’s just Adam’s influence!

We finished our look at representation on Thursday morning with Andy, discussing how Muslims are represented, then had another Mobile and Web-based Content class with Adam in the afternoon. We are now coming up with ideas for a web drama; as well as premises for Richard, Corrie ideas for Kim and Gaelic ideas for FilmG… I feel a touch creatively drained!

On Friday morning we watched two documentaries, the first being Left of Frame. This was an interesting and informative look at the political power of television to finish up from the previous session. The second was about the history of Channel Four which I was not entirely prepared for and which depressed me quite significantly. I had not realised just how distasteful some of its programmes were and how lawlessly, even childishly, this channel had acted. It may have done a lot to provide competition and alternative programming (and I do enjoy a bit of Father Ted!) but in my opinion it is an example of television as little more than “wires and lights in a box”.

Lastly I had a brief tutorial with Abigail where we discussed my scene breakdown and strip board. All seemed well and I was able to stuff another awesome week of learning into my pocket of experience.

Paradise Now

Said and Khaled are Muslims who are trapped in a state of injustice and oppression and they see a suicide mission as their only chance of escape and retaliation, and as an opportunity to earn their place in heaven. Both were very well rounded characters and through the course of the film their views and goals swapped.

I am, of course, quite unfamiliar with the culture and background of the characters so it is hard to empathise entirely and it seems, judging by the representation in the film, that suicide-bombers are generally people who can be easily manipulated; neither characters needed much persuasion but both changed their minds judging by what others said. In this way we could see their vulnerability and how those who took advantage of it (i.e. Jamed) could easily lead them onto the wrong path.

However, I believe they were honestly and realistically portrayed, with emotional depth and personal journeys. When we think of a 'terrorist' it is so easy to distance ourselves and form a caricature of what that is. This film broke straight through the misrepresentation of Western media and provided us with people with stories behind the faces and a state of mind which is in some way relatable.

Week 2 – In the Heat of the Dance

Fighting is pointless, rugby is dangerous, driving is hazardous but the real risk is found not in any of these things, but actually in ceilidh dancing. Kim Millar warned us of this by injuring herself during a Strip the Willow at the weekend so postponing our Content class where we would pitch our story ideas for Coronation Street. I hope she recovers soon.

The search is on for the ultimate seven minute script idea… In my tutorial with Richard we both came to the conclusion I haven’t found it yet.

Tuesday was assessment day for editing which meant it was quite relaxing, since I only needed to be there for an hour and the actual test (logging and capturing) couldn’t have been easier.

Wednesday morning was used productively as we recorded some voice-overs for Dust. In the afternoon we had a screening of In the Heat of the Night; a slick edgy murder mystery which tackled issues of racism and prejudice. It was one of those ‘only just colour’ films and there was an obvious sense of the movement into a new Hollywood era. It presented some interesting and memorable characters and featured the much quoted line “They call me Mister Tibbs!”. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Thursday was a full day of Andy! The morning class was continuing on from our screening the day before with a look at the representation of gender and race. This is of course hugely important and I was struck yet again by the responsibility we have as practioners in this medium of mass communication to produce content which is not only fair but which is encouraging what is good and discouraging what is bad. I am so conscious that so many films blur this principle and excuse themselves by calling it a joke, or style, or realism. We must live up to our responsibilities and be fully aware of the huge effect that films can have for good, but also for bad.

In the afternoon we returned to our study of television and looked at it as a political force. We watched the pilot episode of Boys from the Blackstuff which was compelling viewing though perhaps a little drawn out by today’s standards. I enjoyed the story and could see the political significance but I confess what fascinated me most was seeing King Theoden of Rohan with a black moustache and a broad Liverpool accent!

It was good to see that Adam is still finding the time to teach, and we had a very interesting class on Friday morning looking at the technology surrounding mobile and web-based content. It’s almost scary to see how far we’ve come in such a short time and where we will be in the near future. However the fact is, as Adam is constantly reminding us, no-one has yet managed to harness these new systems and make them commercially beneficial and it’s got to happen soon…

We finished with a short Production class with Abigail where she showed us an actual Strip Board and went over some principles of scheduling. Our homework, then, was to do the same using the script breakdown we had already done. There is something so satisfying about the tasks of the producer. There is much less subjectivity compared to writing or directing; the correct information entered into the correct boxes and the desired results will be achieved.

Week 1 - Good to be back

There are two options when it comes to holidays. One is to maintain a continual awareness of the responsibilities and requirements of work in order to remain on top of everything and in control, which really means not having a holiday at all, and the other is simply to forget everything ‘work-related’ for the duration of the vacation and on returning to it risk being swamped by it. On this occasion I did the latter and remained faithful to these ‘holy days’ but paid the price for it on my return. I was hit by a tidal wave of emails containing unresolved issues, newly formed issues and issues soon to come! Ah, thought I, it’s good to be back! So term started, and I began swimming for shore.

There wasn’t much to be done in our final Screenwriting class on Monday morning. We handed in our seven minute premises, continued learning about dialogue then finished the story exercise we had started before the holidays which turned out to be a rather amusing disaster. So from now on we will be having individual tutorials with Richard instead of classes and our writing is our own responsibility.

I confess I was more than apprehensive when I heard that our Content class on Monday afternoon would be with Kim Millar on soaps. However, I was very pleasantly surprised as we started to learn about Storylining and the process involved in writing a serial drama such as Coronation Street. Understanding is a wonderful thing and I may say that during that session I gained a fair portion of it… and some interesting homework. For next week we were required to assemble a story idea for certain characters on Corrie. Although I would never voluntarily choose to watch a soap, writing one is an entirely different (and more exciting) kettle of fish!

On Monday evening we got free tickets to see State of Play, a new film by Kevin Macdonald based on a BBC TV Series. It was quite enjoyable, and I did get caught up in that Thriller/Detective story to a certain extent, though probably I was appreciating Russell Crowe’s performance and the journalistic setting more than the actual story. I was outraged to discover, during the live transmission of an interview with Kevin Macdonald straight after the film, that he is now working on a film adaptation of the book The Eagle of the Ninth by Rosemary Sutcliff. I expressed my disfavour rather volubly in the cinema and wouldn’t anyone whose dreams had been shattered so suddenly? This book, it must be understood, was one which I wanted to make should I become influential enough. Ah well, he’d better do it justice!

Tuesday was supposed to be a day of editing but Gavin was absent. I conscientiously used some of the time to catch up on some Corrie in the IT Suite. In the afternoon we had a class with Andy continuing our journey through the history of cinema and looking at the work of the crazy pioneer William Castle.

All of Wednesday morning was spent auditioning actors for Murdo’s film Dust and then the afternoon was a screening of The Best Years of Our Lives. I really enjoyed this look at the experiences of soldiers returning home after the war and I was newly impressed by William Wyler purely due to the sheer contrast of this piece compared to Ben-Hur. The film was not technically flawless or structurally compelling but it made up for this with loveable characters and an emotionally satisfying story; unlike most modern glossy Hollywood features which look good on the outside but have no heart.

We had no classes on Thursday so I used the time to deal with some of the holiday tidal wave and get my feet back on solid ground.

On Friday morning Gavin, Paul, Galina and myself met up to come up with our story idea for Corrie. I was really quite pleased with our idea and I had imagined it so clearly I knew I would be disappointed when the characters did something different in the actual show!

That afternoon we had a great Production class. Abigail introduced us to an initial Script Breakdown and handing us a ten page script she simply sent us off to do one for it. I found this exercise extremely useful (if somewhat monotonous!) and I am quite excited that we are getting into the actual practicalities of producing a film. I only wish I could have done things properly on previous projects that I’ve worked on… if only we could have done this sooner!

I must admit that the pressure was on this week. It’s hard work being busy, and it’s also great fun! In fact it’s what being a filmmaker is all about, and I still can’t quite grasp just how lucky I am to be here at the Academy, in my dream course. Still, it was a relief to get to the end of this week and feel a bit more on top of things. The tidal wave has passed, the sea is calming and my foot has at last settled on the sand. It’s good to be back.